Well, it's been 2 or 3 days since I was going to start my FRESH START, and so far,,,,, I have FLUNKED. I have the motivation of a sick, angry, slug. The less that I get accomplished, the worse I feel, and the less motivated that I feel. What a vicious cycle!!! I took some time to write to one of my friends that has a 20 month old baby and looks FANTASTIC, and ask her HOW she does it. I was Shocked to find out that she has NO help as she has no family in the area that she lives. She has the body of a playboy playmate, and obviously the motivation of an olympian!! I have a mother that helps me more than I could ask for and a husband that is a super dad....and yet I get nothing done. I think that this is starting to say ALOT about ME. I need a swift kick in the ass to get me up and going and on track again.
Yes, my life is now different since I have a baby, but NO, that doesn't mean that I have to let myself go tot he point that I have. I'm going to give my friend with a baby a call and get some good tips from her. If she can do it, then there's no reason that I can't too! I'll keep blogging my updates, and just HOPE that I will have something positive to report soon. I would post pictures of my BEGINNING point, then later post some of my progress, but I'm just too embarrassed of my Beginning point at this time. Maybe later when I HAVE made some progress, then I can post them, just not now. It's not like the tabloids are waiting around to grab pics of me to show to the world, but even if ONE of my friends saw pictures of me now, it would humiliate me! At this point, I try hiding out so that no one sees me!!
Oh, Sweetness, it pains me to see you hurting. Although i deeply admire your desire to do things differently, as your token (and favorite!) hippie therapist, i demand the following:
ReplyDelete1) Please don't compare yourself to others. Not everyone is capable of bouncing back so quickly.
2) Honor this adjustment: you are a brand new mother, which is the most exhausting (and important!) job on this planet. Beating yourself up for not being perfect will only drive you deeper down.
3) Talk to your doc. This sounds a lot like Post Partum Depression, and there's NO shame in seeking treatment.
3) Allow yourself to be motivated out of self-love, not self-loathing.
You are soooo loved, and we are all pulling for you to be the happiest, healthiest, YOU possible. Reach out anytime you need a hand, a shoulder, or an ear. I will gladly lend you any of the abovementioned body parts. xoxoxoxo, Misha
As a friend who saw u recently...once in your purple mumu and once fully dressed, you are too hard on your self. Beautiful as always! Get yourself organized and into a routine. It can be done and it will improve your sanity.
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